There was a man that wanted a son, though he was not married. His lady friend became pregnant though they were not in love. He asked for an abortion because he didn’t know how to be a father. He did not get a paternity test though it was available. He struggled as a father and kept running through women until middle age. He discovered his real father (on his deathbed) a couple of years later for the first time but would not allow him to see his grandson out of spite. Then he discovered that his grandfather that had raised him was not his biological grandfather either.
This man found out a few years later that the boy was not his son! He had wanted to abort a child that was not his own.
He has no father, no son and his known grandfather was not his biological grandfather—and he holds a grudge towards his mother for his upbringing.
I listened to him cry but I understood that there was so much to consider. God had given him a grandfather in his life with the absence of his own father. God offered him a chance to reconcile with his own father as his father lay dying. He had secretly done a paternity test on his assumed son after years as his father but only he knew the results. He filed in court and disappeared from the boy’s life.
As I heard him cry, I saw the goodness God had bestowed upon him though he could not attain the blessings from it. He sought a life of pleasures without responsibility, he desired fulfillment without accountability and he judged others harshly but saw himself as a victim.
So, he cried…but I did not cry with him. This broken man cries for his loss though he gave away his blessings. These are the dark issues our men are facing when they cannot ground their life in faith, character and a sense of purpose. He did not learn from the grandfather that raised him—blood ties are important but you can be a father to sons not born of your own loins. He wasted opportunities to grow and be greater than his circumstances. He chased emotional responses to his problems and his attempt to be free of responsibility has left him empty and longing. The last time I saw him he was staring off into the distance. In the words of TD Jakes, I wanted to ask God to bless him but he cannot stand to be blessed. So, I asked God to grow him. He could not digest what I would say to him so I held my tongue. This MRW (Man Raised By A Woman) talked to me about how it affected him not having his father. Now he sits in a room full of people yet all alone.
Get MEN RAISED BY WOMEN, and save your son.
John P. Dennis is a renowned speaker and author of the Amazon #1 bestseller, MEN RAISED BY WOMEN: WHAT HE WON’T TELL MOM. He was raised by a single mother and specializes in helping Single Moms raising boys, Detached Dads trying to overcome the challenges their son is facing without him, and Step-Dads that marry into unhealthy relationships between the mother & son.
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